Thinking what to say to my new niece, due February:
“Hi! I will be your uncle for life. Despite what your mom (my older sister) thinks your name is, your name is Nila (from Lion King) in the family because your mom is the Lion. I will spoil you. I will buy you things. I will take you out on school nights. I will teach you how to annoy your mom properly. You will play piano at 3. Play violin at 4. Play volleyball at 5. I may seem over-productive at times, but I didn’t kill all your boyfriends. I just hung them to a tree somewhere in the woods. I forgot where. If your mom yells at you, I am always on your side. If your mom yells at me, you’re on your own, kiddo! You will not get a car when you’re 16. Forget about it. Back in my days, I took the subway everywhere. High school years are not teenage drama years. We’re no white people, we’re Asians. It’s get yourself to a top college years. You will find yourself good at math and wonder why. Ask your aunty Vi. It’s because you’re Asian. You will go to college. That’s not even a question. I might create an Uncle Scar Scholarship Fund for you. I might not. If I visit you in college and see a guy touches you. Trust me. He will cease to exist the next day. Period. You can major anything you want. If you go to medical school, I’m proud of you. If you go to pharm school, I question what your mom has been teaching you. If you go to law school, you better be able to beat your aunty in a debate. You can marry anybody you want. Provided I like the guy. If I don’t, I will scare him to death on the wedding day. He might shake with fear when he walks down the aisle. Literally. Grandparents are gangsters. Yes, your grandpa is a pastor and your grandma is a health care worker, but they’re gangsters. They know everything. They see everything. Just picture your grandma driving a Hummer and your grandpa rapping to Kanye. If they’re gangsters, I’m the Mafia. Don’t mess with me. Everything you do and everywhere you go, I know people. Trust me. Just ask your Aunti Vi. The world may be harsh sometimes, but a big bowl of pho from Grandmas solves everything. Everything is measured by pho. If you spend $100 on shoes, that’s 20 bowls of pho that could have fed people. Don’t waste pho. Despite everything, welcome to the gangster/Mafia/pho loving family. I will love you unconditionally. Because I am your uncle.”
Comments (4)
*claps..* Man, Your niece must be REALLY REALLY happy to have an uncle like you..XD I am serious!
-gRaCe-
LOL! you’re coolss. and aww i can’t wait till your neice enters this world!
awww, what a sweet letter for your new neice. It’s gonna be so cool when she is able to read it! =]
Duy, i think you are really awesome and your love for your neice is so great that reminds me of our Heavenly Father’s love for us even before we are born.=) May He bless you and your family!! (Es. your lucky neice!)
In Him,
Emily : ]
lol, interesting there are threats and love. lol, sounds like a classic Asian family. But it’s good thinking about what your niece. I might have a nice or a nephew out there somewhere that i dont know about.
okay back to work….i think…..i been sitting here for three hours now and haven’t done anything but sent a few e-mails and lunch in 15 minute ……okay back to PRETENDING to work.
Later,
Thomas