Month: October 2007

  • AAWWWKKWWAARRDD moment….

    GSe6DLQM

    They played in the same team in Japan….. but alas, in the World Series, the guy in RED beat the guy with cool hair and sunglasses…

     

    Go RED SOX!

  • Thinking what to say to my new niece, due February:

    “Hi! I will be your uncle for life. Despite what your mom (my older sister) thinks your name is, your name is Nila (from Lion King) in the family because your mom is the Lion. I will spoil you. I will buy you things. I will take you out on school nights. I will teach you how to annoy your mom properly. You will play piano at 3. Play violin at 4. Play volleyball at 5. I may seem over-productive at times, but I didn’t kill all your boyfriends. I just hung them to a tree somewhere in the woods. I forgot where. If your mom yells at you, I am always on your side. If your mom yells at me, you’re on your own, kiddo! You will not get a car when you’re 16. Forget about it. Back in my days, I took the subway everywhere. High school years are not teenage drama years. We’re no white people, we’re Asians. It’s get yourself to a top college years. You will find yourself good at math and wonder why. Ask your aunty Vi. It’s because you’re Asian. You will go to college. That’s not even a question. I might create an Uncle Scar Scholarship Fund for you. I might not. If I visit you in college and see a guy touches you. Trust me. He will cease to exist the next day. Period. You can major anything you want. If you go to medical school, I’m proud of you. If you go to pharm school, I question what your mom has been teaching you. If you go to law school, you better be able to beat your aunty in a debate. You can marry anybody you want. Provided I like the guy. If I don’t, I will scare him to death on the wedding day. He might shake with fear when he walks down the aisle. Literally. Grandparents are gangsters. Yes, your grandpa is a pastor and your grandma is a health care worker, but they’re gangsters. They know everything. They see everything. Just picture your grandma driving a Hummer and your grandpa rapping to Kanye. If they’re gangsters, I’m the Mafia. Don’t mess with me. Everything you do and everywhere you go, I know people. Trust me. Just ask your Aunti Vi. The world may be harsh sometimes, but a big bowl of pho from Grandmas solves everything. Everything is measured by pho. If you spend $100 on shoes, that’s 20 bowls of pho that could have fed people. Don’t waste pho. Despite everything, welcome to the gangster/Mafia/pho loving family. I will love you unconditionally. Because I am your uncle.”